Ultimatum

Leave me in peace
Passion

Running around tonight
With black ringed tired eyes
You’re the rock in my throat
You’re the knot in my coat
That I can’t wear
Till I’ve signed the treatise
To die.

Grey Flowers.

This is just a little,
A little
Grey flower
Dried overcast summers
With rain melting it
To a waxed down stone.
Nothing could make it live
Live ever again.

When did you know I was dead?
When did you leave me here to be left unsaid?
Where are my obituaries?
I want to hear what you have to say about me,
I want to hear how you got to leave without me!
And how,
How could you never really see
What I always see
In this dreary race.
I want to know,
Know where you left the books unfinished
Where you moved your heart to the morgue.
Love it alone
Alone,
Alone.
Love it alone,
Alone,
Alone.

Leave it here with me.
With grey flowers
Rain and stones.
Hearts are well kept
When they are alone.
You carved it out so.
You washed it dry
Where a tear could not meet a cry.

You felt without friends,
Like stars and moons hide behind clouds
And rain melts you down,
Down, down.
Like a waxed stone.

Als Mensch

Ich brauche keine Zeit
Nur Luft der Einsamkeit
Und ein Blick des Himmel’s auf Erden
Aber trotz der Jenseits und Unerreichbarkeit
Dieser Dinge vergessen
In wiederholter Bloedsinn des Leben
Bin Ich Mir wenigsten klar
Des ueberwaeltigen Grau sein aller Zustaende
Meines Dasein.

Als Mensch, ist Mensch
Das einsamste aller Wesen
Weil mit Selbsbewustsein
Kann nur einer ihm ganz durchblicken
Sich Selbst und ein Hoeheres Wesen
Weil wer sonst wird sein Trauer und Freude,
Seine Schulden und Freiheiten
Ganz and voll erleben
Wenn es ausser seines Wesens ist.
Das objektische Dialogue
Ist nur einer mit verdunkelten Fenstern
Nur das Bild das Ich malen kann
Wird mir verstaendlich vorgetragen
Von Mir Selbst
Und dort ist es ein verhuelltes Dasein
Welches wir mit Stroh und besoffenes Lachen erfuellen
Nur umso leichter in Hoelle zu verbrennen.

Greenhouse Grey

Time and time
And reality again
Twisting and twining
Of intermixing dejavus,
Love of a god caught in his own greenhouse
And I sit here merely being in a flower
Of grey colours
Wanting to find a hallelujah of brighter things

Friends

All night long,
All night long,
The room is full
Of smoke rings
All night long

Your father called after midnight
With bodies in his closet
And bugs in the air
Bottles on the floor
Screaming we’re all gonna die.

Your lover downtown
Makes it known
That her man gives roses every Sunday
And makes it secret
That you meet under covers
She says he can’t blow smoke rings

All night long
All night long
The room is full
of smoke rings
All night long.

Lately I can’t fall asleep
With books half finished
And a silent piano
I ride my bike to the shore
Twenty black miles
Into nowhere

Your house is made of cardboard
lost your job to your mind
and drugs up your nose
slumping in with a cold
everyday that you should have walked
out with a smile

your wife in town
lets it known
that you’ve become a ghost
worst she says you died
in an accident
one that you only seen written
on divorce papers she signed
while blowing smoke rings

all night long
all night long
the room is full
of smoke rings
all night long

lately, I can’t fall asleep
I hear friends crying for respect
While I nurse coffee and cigarettes
All night long
Hear the children in countries
Crying joy for a bowl of rice
And staying alive while working
The queries
That bring boulders crashing down
To keep us smiling
And blowing smoke rings

All night long
All night long
The room is full
Of smoke rings
All night long.

Only the rain can drown us all
Only the rain will wash it all
Only the rain will.

Worthwhile

Tonight, I will retire
Close my eyes
And look inside

And if I
Taste fire
Will you tell me that I am in hell?
And if I
Taste fire
Will you leave me where I fell?

Tonight, I will smile
Say nothing
Make it worthwhile

And if I
Taste fire
will you hold my hand and burn?
And if I
Taste fire
Will you forget the life we yearn?

Nursing coffee and cigarettes
All night long
With death guiding this carriage
Six feet underground
To have the worms eat my skin
The devil has been waiting
Since the day
I tasted water

Tonight, I will sleep
Hold your hands
And forget to weep.

This window, they be shinging lights.

I look outside from outside.
And this inside
Is a desert which my life must be
Where a wind scatters me to sand dunes
Where only heat and some scorpion malingers
And I could walk over them only to find a range of more
There is no sky and no clouds
Just emptiness above and beyond the horizon
Where my hands crack
And my throat crumbles
And becomes dust

Then I look inside
And you wait
Like an angel in a desert
Where a wind brings me home
And your kiss quenches my thirst
And your voice summons
Raging space of thundering clouds
From above and beyond the horizon.

Er bricht meine Rippe

I ask myself
If I have the words written on my heart
Like those written on pages by reiner rilke
Letztens ist die Frage selbst eine Antwort
In dessen sich Frieden nie finden kann.
(Lastly, is the question an answer itself
in which peace can never be found)
Words are hard to make sound beautiful
And bother you like spinning webs of
spawning trees
In which you try to find beauty
But get caught up in yourself.
Was ist wenn Schoenheit nicht in der Natur liegt
Sondern im Zerstoerung dessen durch
Das Leben unser Menschehit
(What if beauty is not in nature
but the in destruction of it
by the life of our humanity)
Because man is man
We walk pittfully lonely
In shells of nautilus
Round in our own spiral
Und Spiralen der Vergangenheit
Verschweigen die Suende als Ursprung
Unseres Dasein, und die Worte unsere Poesie
(and spirals of the past
do not reveal the sins as the origion
of our existence and the words of our poetry)
We can touch these plastic souls
Poke them on sticks
And melt them like marshmellow roasts
Over our fires of ignorance
And everyone laughs, because the heat feels good
And believes our uniqueness comes from the mold we are all made of
And everyone loves the smell of the shit we fuel our furnaces with
The shit of tv sitcoms, cars and Paris Hilton
The shit of the lost soul in the reflection of beauty magazines
And our gaping mouths shining a hygene brighter than the altars of European church gold
With the Volume of our vocal chords strumming over the quiet whisper of agony of our blindness
To all these, to all these complexes
To all these, to all these beautiful hoaxes
Wie sind unsere Rechte als Menschheit
verschweigt wurden
Wer hat uns verloren
in unsere Gas Kammern
Wem machen wir die Schuld recht?
(how were our rights as a humanity
silenced from us
who lost us
in the gas chambers
whom do we do justice be their injustice?)
Pin it on your pale body (whose colour is in the mirror reflection of blindness)
Pin it on your education and the teacher who looked you up the skirt
Pin it on dad and mom, saying they love you
And divorce night and day
Pin it on the dartboard
No matter how many times – the bulls eye is no dead center
But behind your own sternum
And mind that your bones are just calcium atoms
Atoms are atoms, as Adam and the adam’s apple, the forbidden apple
All one inanimate sphere of electrons, protons and neutrons
Some cursed with a breath, some privileged to be lifeless
Where can we find a line for us to make beauty in all of it
I guess it just isn’t happening
I guess it just isn’t writing in the lines of history
A thing of mere scientific conception
Looking at the past through a magnifying glass
When you look at your ugly stubbly self
This is fucked up
Fucked up

And Jesus won’t walk away from me
Er bricht meine Rippe
(he breaks my rib)
He won’t walk away
Er zerreist meine Lungen
(he tears my lung)
He wont leave me here
Er macht weniger Sinn
(he makes less sense)
And he leaves peace in that
Ich kann nicht weg von ihm
(I can't get away from him)
My feet melting into this forest
Wie ein Banyan Baum
(like a banyan tree)

(Permit me to forgive myself
for steeling out of my lost inspiration
that of others delicate concoctions)

What they say

There I was
There I am
When
The moon said
The shadows are light
The desert whispered
The rest is at peace
The dog barked
For the hunger of my flesh
The bugs crawled
Before he could maul
And the stars teared
For the sleep
the sun rose
burning all of me